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Friday, November 28, 2008
Currently I am the brink of giving up, things look grim and I feel like dying. Tomorrow is the big day and things look very bad at the moment. My nails are blue once again. I really wonder if a miracle will happen. There’s nothing I can do now but to place my faith in God.
A fate worst then death is most commonly experienced when people are sick. Ever wonder what happens when cancer meets diabetes? Well I got a mini taste of it. My most feared tonsillitis is coupled with dreadful migraine at the moment. If I were to use the common way of treating migraine which is to use ointment on the particular head region, the blood vessels will constrict causing less pressure ultimately reducing the throbbing pain. But if I do that, my blood vessels won’t be able to dilate and thus heat lost is minimal. My head is so hot now that it can heat up a pot of water.
You know, sometimes when you are sick and your mom shows concern you can get irritated due to your condition but frankly speaking it is the support of your loved ones that give you strength to carry on fighting. This has caused my thoughts to dwell further. Ever wonder what happens when you grow old and sick? If your young, things won’t look that grim. You would still recover and life goes on. But what happens if your old? What happens when all your loved ones have left you? Would it be good to impose on your children all the time? Recovering is slim, but what’s worse is that there is nothing to keep them going anymore. So what if they recover? They would say it’s just a short postpone till the angel of death arrives.
Living life is akin to war. Whichever side gives in, loses concentration and hope then all is lost. This reminds me of a quote “When you get into a tight place, and it seems you can't go on, hold on, for that's just the place and time that the tide will turn.” -Harriet Beecher Stowe
But illness is different from a game of basketball, it’s not about trying hard and the tide will turn. What if your destined to die? What if your body can’t keep up anymore? God give me strength and the courage to go on.
[“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.” - Ambrose Redmoon]
the origin.7:46 PM
Name: Perry Tan Z.Y
Birthday: 22nd December 1988
Religion: Christian
Personality: INFJ
Loves: Basketball, Anime, HK, Korean and Chinese Dramas, Hanging out with friends, Watching Movies, "You Know ...", Gaming and Chinese Music
Hates these Traits ... Arrogance, Injustice, Insensitivity and Running Away (Even though I tend to run away a lot)
Wishlists: Enlightenment, Thought-Antagonist, Time Travel Machine, The other Puzzle Piece and A book called "How to become a Better Man"
my voice
taggie
preferably cbox
entries;
myself;
shouts;
links;
my past;
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