My Confession Box

Friday, October 31, 2008

Did you know that in America, it is recorded that Soldiers who return from countries filled with insurgents such as Pakistan and Iraq suffer post-trauma? Soldiers dun experience real gun fire nor do they experience shooting and deaths of people. After returning to their homelands, they experience difficulties in their social lives and not to mention picking up a gun and doing their job again.
Well, in my opinion it’s not about the soldier picking up the gun and to hit the target but rather it’s about overcoming the fear and pulling the trigger which he would definitely hesitate to do so.

Today, was a day that I had to look fear in the face and do that thing that I cannot do. Well, it didn’t went as well as planned but still, I did it. The day started off bad, real bad. Due to a stomach ache and poor time prediction, I ended up being late. It wasn’t the 5 minute type of late thingy but it was a whole 25 minutes. Darn did I feel guilty and damn was it going to affect what I will be doing at the later portion of the day.
Well, fortunately we still managed to catch the movie. Apparently High School Musical 3 was pretty good. Sure most guys find this show inappropriate, they think it’s more for guys on the feminine side but still I enjoyed it. The movie portrayed certain problems that teens and young adults face, some of it includes difficulties in making decisions in life, being parted from people you love (1053 miles) and transitions in the human life such as graduation and going from one phase to another. The dancing was awesome too. Well, for one thing I don’t find guys who dance and sing gay, in fact I find Lucas Gabreel who played Ryan pretty cool because the way he dances and express himself in rather dynamic manner. It’s one part about not thinking about what other people think about you. Guess what? Apparently when I was looking out for his profile I realized that he will be the cast of Beverley Hill Ninja 2. If you don’t know what it is, it’s a movie where you’ll be laughing your ass out from the start.
Set aside the movie, as the day approached I hesitated and started to think again. Sometimes it’s really better to not think so much, it gets kinda problematic if you do it excessively like I do. Despite all the stupid cognitive process that was taking place, I still decided to go a certain way. If I had a chance to turn back time, I’ll do it again but more confidently. Must there be a reason to do something all the time? Well, perhaps but there are certain things in life that happen without a reason. Take for example, would you shield someone from a falling heavy object? Well for you I would. If you reason it out in terms of logic, you’ll fail to come to a conclusion because certain things work beyond the premises of logic. There is simply no reason, it’s the resonance of souls.

Despite not doing as well as I hoped for it to be, still I said my peice and I felt a huge sense of relief. Sure there was a stunning aftermath that was felt but later I found my soul calmed. At the very least, I will not be like Makato Shinkai the Author who wrote 5cm/s, well he didn’t do certain things that cause him to regret till the very day. Think about it, the man even had to write about himself using an animated character Takkaki Tono with a similar experience of regretting.

the origin.12:17 AM