Today TVB localized channel finally finished airing “Tang Xing Feng Bao” A.K.A “Heart of Greed”. This show could be said to be one of the best TVB drama’s that I have watched. It made me reflect on quite a lot of things. Ranging from Family, friends and maturing.
Today, certain people asked me a question such as why do you look so moody today? Well, I really wasn’t in a bad mood but I felt that life lost its meaning. In my previous post just a few days back, I mentioned that growing up has made me really bored because there isn’t a goal. Today, while walking and waltzing with some of my classmates like Cheng and Suhaimi, we discussed on the topic “life being meaningless”. Some of them were surprised I thought that way (I wouldn’t be surprised if at that point of time they suspected I was suffering from “Depression”.) Well, continuing where I left off, they questioned me such as what are your goals. Of course my goal is to be a doctor, however I returned a question to them, so what if I become a doctor in the future? There isn’t a meaning anymore. Those long term goals seem so far, however once they are met, what’s going to happen next? ( This sounds like some martial arts crap that when one reaches zenith, there isn’t a meaning anymore. Ignore that load of crap right now, my friends then asked me, what are your short term goals, sadly I didn’t have any.)
As the show Tang Xing Feng Bao was ending today, there was a scene in which Gilbert’s wife told him, so what if you manage to get hold of the inheritance? Your family will hate you and you will have no one to share your joy with.
This brought a chain of thoughts such as ...
1. who can I share joy with?
2. Who would be excited about the events in my life?
(This reminds me of your typical Chinese shows where the Emperor uses underhand means to achieve something which he longs for. But after he achieves it, he doesn’t have anyone to share the joy with. So this brings back to my initial thought “What next?”)
Well, I am sure my parents would feel happy for me. But besides that?
Well, I did come across a quote that made me ponder ...
“We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.” – Anais Nin
the origin.10:16 PM