My Confession Box

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Many would have been curious why my blog has such a weird name to begin with. Crusade of a pilgrim, refers to war that a traveller experiences. This war isn’t the typical ones where you see people cursing “G. Bush”, but a spiritual war that takes place every second.
I always felt that my father was a man who was “Overboard” in terms of zealousness towards Christianity. Throughout the past 3 years I have drifted very far away from god, I stopped going to church 3 years back and I loathe at the sight of my dad sharing with me the word of god. Yea, sure dad is very long-winded and one can get pissed being around him, however at times when I reflect upon the words that he shares, I see the truth within the word that he speaks.
I have not blogged for ages, I usually do so when I feel that something major has taken place in my life and it is important to note it. In my previous important experience, I felt that there was a void within me and I need to become a better person. I did not take action immediately but passively and slowly. Recently, I started to draw closer to God once again. I started to attend church 3 weeks back and it certainly feels good to do so.
I’ve always been curious by various questions. Take for instance, what is spiritual communication about and what was the hocus pocus with Christians speaking in tongues. Are they not just gibbering nonsense? Dad always told me, there’s a spirit behind various thoughts. Initially I found my Dad an extremist, he hated me to play games like Diablo and he even broke my computer games which he found inappropriate. When he first did that, I was like “What the hell did you do that for? Are you mad?”. To add on to that, whenever the family watches movie together he starts saying things like “This show is not suitable etc... , there are demonic forces behind these.” I was really freaked out by him initially. That was till I finally grasped hold of what it means by “spiritual communication”. Dad loves sharing with me the word of God and one such example of spiritual communication that he shares is about God’s answer to Daniel’s prayer, the arch angel told Daniel that he was late due to a spiritual war that was waged in the heavens. I finally understood that spiritual communication was akin to wavelengths and thoughts. There are certain thoughts that can be termed “Demonic” these thoughts are those that are not from god, and they include lust and wrath.
Curiosity has always spurred me to question myself, does that mean that being a Christian takes away your right of getting angry when someone provokes you? Does it mean that a guy can’t find a girlfriend and fantasize about them? If these are just some of the requirements of being a Christian, what’s the point then? But there is! There is a point of being a Christian. Certain thoughts have always crossed my mind, why do we believe in God? We don’t get to see him and it’s not possible to prove his existence, if the bibles are just teachings, isn’t it just then a philosophy of becoming a “Better Man”? Probing further I was wondering, why do miracles happen? The power of god does reveal itself by performing such miracles. Ok, this is the point in which I stop thinking and let faith do it’s job.
Recently, I was reading this book by Tony Evans, it was mentioned that God doesn’t wait in a sense that we should not put him last for the sake of our “Human Conveniences”. I was wondering then, because time does not avail me to join activities such as youth fellowship and all the cell group stuff, would it be fine then? Does it mean that certain activities have to be fulfilled? Well I didn’t get myself a definite answer but one thing for sure is that, the route to becoming a matured Christian is about the relationship between you and god and not based “Must Do” acitivities. After all each and every individual has a personal relationship with god.

the origin.1:00 AM