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Sunday, August 01, 2010
I’ve been having some pretty heavy thoughts lately. I’ve been wondering what if reality is merely an illusion that we create for ourselves. I caught the movie “Inception” on the 24th of July; it was awesome even though the ending was kind of a cliffhanger. Personally I dislike cliffhanger endings however despite so, the movie left me feeling strongly for the character “Mal”.
I can’t help to agree with Mal how difficult it is to differentiate between reality and the world of dreams. Ever since I was conscripted, it felt like I’ve been living the life of another. During this time frame, I often say that it’s like I don’t even know who I have become. Remember I once said that I’m a very objective based person? Well I’m the type that doesn’t learn well through the hard way, the more you force me to do something I don’t want to, the more I rebel. Perhaps as a form of defense mechanism to protect myself, I became someone else. You could imagine it this way, my soul left me and another soul took its place to allow time to pass by less painfully.
I completed my recourse on the 30th of July. This means that I’m left with 10 months before I return to life as a civilian. I’ve got to try my best to wake myself up from this dream that I placed myself in. There were many times I feared that “he” wouldn’t leave when the time came.
During the past 1 year and 1 month, my self-image has been severely battered and this has caused a lot of pain for me. However, I wouldn’t say that “he” hasn’t taught me anything. I’m a guy who draws lines very well. There’s a very clear distinction between black and white. However, perhaps one of the greatest lessons I learnt during this time is that a grey region exists.
The post I wrote on the 20th of July made me reflect more on the aspect of friendship, something really brittle. I saw this quote roughly 3 months back, it really describes what I define as a good friend.
" A friend is one to whom one may pour out all the contents of one's heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away." - Arabian Proverb
the origin.11:29 PM
Name: Perry Tan Z.Y
Birthday: 22nd December 1988
Religion: Christian
Personality: INFJ
Loves: Basketball, Anime, HK, Korean and Chinese Dramas, Hanging out with friends, Watching Movies, "You Know ...", Gaming and Chinese Music
Hates these Traits ... Arrogance, Injustice, Insensitivity and Running Away (Even though I tend to run away a lot)
Wishlists: Enlightenment, Thought-Antagonist, Time Travel Machine, The other Puzzle Piece and A book called "How to become a Better Man"
my voice
taggie
preferably cbox
entries;
myself;
shouts;
links;
my past;
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