Monday, June 14, 2010
Today is the 14th of June 2010, which marks another year till I’m released from captivity from this false notion of “Patriotism”. Time’s running short and I have a number of tasks to accomplish in this “Short”period of time. First and foremost I have to make up my mind and choose a university and stick to my choice. Secondly I would have to learn driving within 9 months and lastly to start on my revision with regards to my studies.
I had a talk with my cousin’s husband and I counsulted his advice regarding which university to enter and which course to undergo, well at the end of the talk I made up my mind but that wasn’t the thing that affected me most. Apparently, my relatives and everyone don’t really have that high hopes for me. They just want me to graduate safely and get a stable job to survive with relatively comfort however that is not what I desire. Despite feeling a little insulted however I don’t really blame them for thinking this way. Ever since young I kept dissapointing everyone around me. But the person whom I dissapointed the most probably would be my mom.
Which parent doesn’t hope the best for his or her child? Likewise my mom wanted me to grow up becoming a successful person. She wanted me to become “Successful” by entering the most prestigious schools of Singapore. Unfortunately I didn’t live up to her expectations, my academics went downhill ever since primary school.
After my education at Nanyang Primary School, I entered Teck Why Secondary School a neightbourhood school famous for its notoriety. My mom was very upset and I promised her that I would do well and enter a good junior college. But then I failed again and entered Singapore Polytechnic instead. And just when we thought this is it …, I forgot to pay the fees of my tertiary education and got kicked out of Singapore polytechnic and landed in Republic Polytechnic instead. Pretty exquisite route for an education don’t you say?
But the dissapointment didn’t just end with regards to academics. I didn’t finish my music education despite both my parents being musicians. I didn’t play games like chess which my mother wanted me to instead I played basketball a sport whereby you would come across a lot of “Bad Influences”.
Come to think about it, my mom probably used this phrase so many times that I lost count. “I give up on this child …”. You know, it’s very demoralizing for a kid to be told that no one is expecting anything of him. Well, I probably threw all my mom’s pride away and that’s why people now think of me as such.
To tell you frankly, I’m really not confident that I will do well in University and perhaps Med. School might just be a farfetched dream that is unattainable for people of my caliber. I mean come on, I’m competing with the best out there and who the hell am I? I’m just plain old Perry a guy who isn’t exceptionally talented. Despite having the inferior complex syndrome kicking in once again, there seems to be this inner me who gives me a glimmer of hope. Deep down in my heart there’s this underdog who wants to prove to everyone that his capablities knows no boundaries one who wouldn’t hesitate to throw countless of eggs at a rock till the day the rock cracks.
Well, it’s 1 year left before I embark on my quest to become an independent fully fletched adult who can’t wait to make his mark in society. I think the time has come for me to create a new blog. I think it’s time to put the past behind me and look towards the bright furture ahead.
[It's time I shook of the ecstasy of letting time past so quickly that no pain is felt. May the pain that I feel today be the strength that I feel tomorrow.]
" The pain you feel today will be the strength you feel tomorrow." - Robert Moore, Massachusetts.
the origin.11:46 PM
Name: Perry Tan Z.Y
Birthday: 22nd December 1988
Religion: Christian
Personality: INFJ
Loves: Basketball, Anime, HK, Korean and Chinese Dramas, Hanging out with friends, Watching Movies, "You Know ...", Gaming and Chinese Music
Hates these Traits ... Arrogance, Injustice, Insensitivity and Running Away (Even though I tend to run away a lot)
Wishlists: Enlightenment, Thought-Antagonist, Time Travel Machine, The other Puzzle Piece and A book called "How to become a Better Man"
my voice
taggie
preferably cbox
entries;
myself;
shouts;
links;
my past;
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