My Confession Box

Thursday, April 22, 2010

I caught the movie “Shutter Island” last Saturday on the 17th of April. I really liked the movie a lot because of the twist. Initially I thought it really was about some Marshall uncovering some conspiracy theory. However it ended up with the Marshall being “crazy” because of the defense mechanisms he put in place to protect himself. It’s sad to see how badly hurt humans can get. The movie ended with “Teddy” or should I say “Andrew” questioning, “Is it better to live a monster or to die a good man?” This saddens me even more because it shows that subconsciously he knew he was living in a fantasy world he created to protect himself, to deny reality.

This movie made me question certain matters. For instance, what are your thoughts on lobotomy? To summarize this for you, I’ll explain to you roughly what this surgery is about. To put it to you straight, it involves holes being drilled into your skull so that the psychosurgeon would be able to insert a special surgical knife, severing the prefrontal cortex from the rest of the brain. (The prefrontal cortex of the brain is involved in complex cognitive behaviours, personality expression, decision making and moderating correct social behaviour.)

This surgical procedure is said to be used to “help” people who are “extremely” mentally unsound to behave. However I beg to question what kind of “help” this form of “therapy” provide. Will proving this form of “help” aid you ultimately? Or would it aid someone whom is no longer you?
I too questioned myself that someone who works in a mental asylum, how long would it take for them to go crazy? I mean think about it, working in such a field requires an astounding amount of patience and perseverance. And let’s say if you were to work in such a field and one day you just gave up, you tell yourself this patient is simply beyond my control, what should I do with such an “Extreme” case? I wonder too, go figure.

(I can’t help but to wonder what are the greatest hurts a human can ever suffer. Well everyone has their own forms of defense mechanisms, ever wondered what’s yours?)

I’ve been too pre-occupied lately. Worse thing is I’ve been pre-occupied with the wrong things. Yes, I’ve been pre-occupied with 6 video games. 3 used to be bad enough but 6 is major overload even for a game freak like me. What’s the worst thing is that the nice games keep popping out and I’m not even done with the ones I’ve been working on. Despite having so many games to work on, I can’t help to feel bored. It’s strange isn’t it? There’s like so many things that I have to do and I haven’t even listed down the important ones. Perhaps I should set my priorities right, to cut down on games and start working on the things that I have planned.

I’ve been reading the book “Destined to Reign” by pastor Joseph Prince. It’s helping to enlighten me with regards to many aspects in my Christian walk. It helped me to understand the mistakes that I have made and why I’m a backslider. I realized that I didn’t need to try to stand right before god because it’s simply impossible and the only reason why it’s possible is because of Jesus. I understand now that the reason why my faith is weak and why am I faltering now and then is because I didn’t understand “Grace”.

Some people say that all religions are the same, their purpose is there to lead as a code of morals to lead you to be a righteous person. I couldn’t answer people who thought this way in the past, however right now, I can tell you Christianity is not a religion, it’s not about laws bound together but its Christ.

Here is a quote that I came across while reading the book. I really liked this quote.
“Right believing leads to right living. So if you don’t want your life to remain the same, the solution is not changing your circumstances, the solution is in changing your heart, changing what you believe.”

My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace

(A song that I heard at church since I was young, however how much was I really taught or should I say how much did I know about God’s “Amazing grace”?)

the origin.6:08 PM