My Confession Box

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Lately, I’ve been a happier person for a particular reason. It’s like how Hanamichi Sakuragi describes it in Slam Dunk Episode 1 “My springtime has come”. I’m not saying it because it really is spring but because of some other reason. It’s like a new surge of energy has entered my life.

I’ve found inner peace in my life lately, really peaceful days where I don’t really complain or grumble as much as I used to. It’s like there really isn’t anything in particular to make me really upset or scared. I just get up early each day to go to work, working till the end of the day and staying overtime if need be. Even though work might be boring most of the time but I’ve found joy in helping others out. After having hearty chats with one of my colleagues, his attitude started to change for the better and so have the attitudes that others have of him. Strangely it brings me great joy to see how I can have an effect on the lives of others.
Did the situation change for me? I doubt so, rather I believe my attitude changed and when your attitude changes, everyday seems like a good day.

Here’s a hilarious quote:
“We seem to be going through a period of nostalgia, and everyone seems to think yesterday was better than today. I don't think it was, and I would advise you not to wait ten years before admitting today was great. If you're hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time”. -Art Buchwald

This is a quote that I came across at my workplace and I posted it on one of my teacher’s wall.
“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.” - Charles R. Swindoll

[I’m starting to learn to ignore what people think about me. It’s like there’s not much of a point explaining to them what’s going on because if their unwilling to listen, no amount of words would get into the puny brains of theirs. Recall, “Don’t bother explaining yourself, your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it”]

Not too long back, I had a weird dream. I dreamt that I died. It made me wonder, let’s say for instance if I had cancer and I happen to pass away… would I have left this earth in peace? Well, the answer was a no; there are too many things that I have yet to do. For one, I questioned myself who would remember me when I die and what have I done in my entire lifetime. Was life all about earning big bucks and fulfilling all my “Wants”?

I’ve been walking closer to god lately. Been reading and reflecting on issues more often than I used to. I felt that my aim in my life shouldn’t about being some heart surgeon where I earn a lot of money but rather a job where I can impact and change the life of others.

This makes me recall a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson in which I came across many years back.

"What Is Success"

To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived;
This is to have succeeded.

By Ralph Waldo Emerson

Well, a couple of wild ideas went into my head once again. It made me recall a dream job that I once thought of. I want to become a journalist or a scriptwriter for Walt Disney. Why of all things a scriptwriter and a journalist?

I always believe that information that is provided by various channels in this world is suppressed; they don’t really reflect the true picture. Or rather I’d call it “Information control” in which the government withdraws information to the general public or rather propaganda to propel their political agendas. I wanted to be the people’s champ by telling them the truth, helping to voice out for those desperately trying to reach out to the international community. I joked with my mom about it and I told her I’d probably die really early as a journalist. (Think of it as being silenced for knowing too much)

I too wanted to be a scriptwriter for Walt Disney. I love Disney cartoons ever since young they seem to really captivate me. I love writing for one and I too wish I could write stories that help children learn morale values and at the same time these stories would have an underlying message for adults or perhaps the government conveying various social and political messages. I’m a pretty dangerous guy don’t you say?

I felt that doing the above would enable me to leave this world satisfied. I’d be able to influence and change the lives of many out there, becoming a platform to create heroes for children to look up to. (Ever since young till now, I’ve always admire many people that I come across through films.)

Couple of months back I’ve become really lazy, but I’m glad this lazy spree has come to a halt. I’m back on my feet again. Although it’s back to square one like how I was like in poly year 2, however I’m confident that I can built myself to become how I used to be just before entering this organization.

Well, one useful thing I learnt during my time in this organization is the part about respect. You see, in order for people to trust you, you have to build up your reputation. This way people would come to respect you. But set aside this, I too understood why I’m so unsuitable for this organization.
I’m not an asshole that’s why. I’m serious. Call me old fashioned but I always believed in seniority commanding respect. Imagine someone your age or younger than you telling you what to do and you have to submit yourself to them and be subjected to any forms of abuse that they have up their sleeves.

[I’m like a bird that has to be free, if you cage me like a beast I’ll snap and bite]

the origin.11:47 PM