My Confession Box

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Currently, my morale is at an all time low. Recall the post “Rite of Passage”? Apparently, each escape rope that I use, it takes a huge toll on my pride. Even though some might justify that the previous and the present state I am in are both shit, but at least there were things that kept me going.

I’ve been thinking … I believe that I’m desperately trying to improve myself. I believe all of us have been through certain types of shit, some of us would simply just wait for the storm to past. But not all storms past by in terms of hours or days. A common situation we get ourselves into most of the time would be attending boring lectures or talks, we would often just “switch off” and wait for time to past, however this time the clock doesn’t turn for me.

Even though lectures and talks can be boring but at least you know it’s for your own good. Unlike lectures or boring talks, this present situation I’m going through does absolutely zero good to me. Furthermore unlike other tough times I’ve been through I don’t have my buddies with me, where we could all go through this and laugh it out later on. Worse still despite given my own personal time, I’ve been drugging myself with the same “Ecstasy”, the same thing that keeps me going most of the time, the very thing that kills my social life, making me uncaring and ignorant of what goes on. But I can’t help it …

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(The teachings and wise words below are all credited to the author of the book Gary Inrig.)

Just a day back, I was reading the Discovery Series of “What is True Forgiveness”. It has certainly broadened my perspective on this subject.

“Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting to remember, but remembering to forget.” – Gary Inrig

Paradoxical it may seem, but definitely not. It is written, "If your brother sins rebuke him and if he repents forgive him. If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, 'I repent,' forgive him."

Many including myself would beg to question the effectiveness of doing so, after all it would just allow the particular person to cultivate the habit of sinning once again. However, after reading this short booklet, I understand what forgiving actually means. When the word “Rebuke” was used, it also means to express strong disapproval. Therefore forgiving someone isn’t turning a blind eye to the wrong. Forgiveness looks sin in the eye and nevertheless peaks the costly words … “I forgive you”. It isn’t simply forgetting to remember as though someone hit your head real hard and your suffering from amnesia.
When we show strong disapproval, we have to remember that the goal of confrontation is not to express our anger or to get something off our chest, but to bring about repentance, restoration and reconciliation. Therefore if you were to go about confrontation, do it privately not publically, do it humbly and repentantly and not arrogantly and self righteously. Do it spiritually and not carnally, do it restoratively and not punitively.

When you say “I forgive you”, you declare that the issue between us is dead and buried. I’m saying that I will not rehearse it, review it, or renew it. When it comes to my mind, I will take it to the lord and to the foot of the cross, not you.
Many people whom I know apparently don’t practice this. A common sight when it comes to quarrelling between spouses, they love to dig up the past and that isn’t forgiving. Also, some victims whom I know of are said to be forgiven but are always mocked for their stupidity, foolishness and mean ways.

A common story told by many of my friends is that they had a quarrel with their friend, and despite asking for forgiveness these group of people told me that things were never the same as before. We have to understand that forgiveness cannot be earned, it can only be given. Whereas reconciliation is earned. Forgiveness cancels all debts but it does not eliminate the consequences.
I once used to believe that “Time heals all wounds”. However there are times in which this is not the case. Ever wondered why? This is because “Time heals clean wounds. Soiled wound’s fester and infect”.

Therefore, if you ever wonder why things are never the same as before, it’s probably just the impact of your actions. However do not fret over it, because we are all insensitive in one way or another and it’s because we’re all human. So long as you apologize sincerely. Regain your friend’s trust and let time work some of its magic, it would most probably be fine.

the origin.10:39 PM