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Thursday, May 31, 2007
It’s 4.15am at the moment, I was disturbed from my sleep by my parents again. Very sadly, my parent’s relationship is tattered and torn or perhaps some could you to the point of no return. My family has always been a broken one, we quarreled really often and used terms such as committing suicide and calling the police too often.
Ever since I was in secondary school, my parents viewed me as a juvenile delinquent. They portrayed me as one who smoke, get into fights, one who does not even try my best during exams and more. The point here is that they always thought I was a bad kid. However, I wasn’t in fact, I tried really hard to do my duty which was to study. However, perhaps I wasn’t too intelligent never have been all this while. I don’t smoke first of all, neither do I get provoke others and get into a fight. I didn’t know how they came to terms of me being a juvenile delinquent to begin with.
My parents quarrels really often, as a child I try to help patch things up. However sadly it has come to a point such that I am really lost as to what I am suppose to do. I tried talking to both parties individually probing them to get to the root of the problem and perhaps apologize to each other. However it seems that I have failed to do so. Like most usual quarrel today was rather “Exceptionally ordinary” something “Big” happened again and this involves calling the police once again.
Why can’t people be more sensitive to each other? Why don’t they clarify what went wrong and perhaps come up with a solution together. Vengeance is a very “Foolish” Act. As a Christian I was always brought up with values such as forgive and forget. Therefore perhaps some might say brought about my temperate nature. There is the Chinese saying about taking a step back and letting matters rest. Vengeance has brought about people doing really irrational acts. My mom perhaps is too caught up with vengeance, and worst still my grandmother likes to add oil to fire. I love my parents and my grandparents. However, it hurts me so much when I see them in this state. I feel so useless because whatever I do it will be redundant. I tried all forms of persuasion even to the extent of begging.
The saddest thing of all is that no one is there for me, I used to think that whenever there are problems I could perhaps seek “external” help, take for instance calling up my cousin and telling her about the problems. However, I feel that I should stop doing so. I hate it when these forms of “External” help, mock my family or perhaps give us the look in which we are inferior, or perhaps they find us abnormal and similar to a problematic child. Who then can I seek help from? God?
I have always been told that when there are problems, I won’t face it alone, rather God will be there for me. Right now, I refer to the word of god and pray that he would help resolve my worries. O god, I pray that you forgive me of my sins and at the same time solve my problems, problems that I alone can’t face. I hope you will bring peace to my family and each of us would start to be more sensitive to each other.
the origin.4:35 AM
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
I haven't blogged for ages because of some technical problems and I was too lazy to sort things out. O well... Life has been extremely busy for me lately. I am currently a year 2 student studying IPBMS at Republic Polytechnic. Most others are having like 4 days week and I am having like 5 days ?! Well I have been really busy at school lately. Looking back at year 1, those were the days where me and my classmates would slack and so on. Life has been really busy and great lately. I am really trying my best to cope with my studies. Doing quite well I suppose.
Recently I also started to assume the post as President of SPEAK IG. This has been a heavy tasks for me. For heaven’s sake I am just a kid. I have to do all sort of stupid things like sending emails which I have seldom did. However as time passed I soon got used to this. Hopefully things would turn out nicely. The intakes for year 1 has been quite successful. The year 1’s are really friendly and a cheerful bunch. Well I guess what I have to do this year is to really study hard and also run this IG well.
The route ahead of me will be a rocky one, however I would bear in mind what Albert Einstein once said. “Three Rules of Work: 1. Out of clutter, find simplicity. 2. From discord, find harmony. 3. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” No matter how rough the journey ahead is, I will overcome them and make the impossible possible.
the origin.6:37 PM
Name: Perry Tan Z.Y
Birthday: 22nd December 1988
Religion: Christian
Personality: INFJ
Loves: Basketball, Anime, HK, Korean and Chinese Dramas, Hanging out with friends, Watching Movies, "You Know ...", Gaming and Chinese Music
Hates these Traits ... Arrogance, Injustice, Insensitivity and Running Away (Even though I tend to run away a lot)
Wishlists: Enlightenment, Thought-Antagonist, Time Travel Machine, The other Puzzle Piece and A book called "How to become a Better Man"
my voice
taggie
preferably cbox
entries;
myself;
shouts;
links;
my past;
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